Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Royal Visit

One decided it was about time to give One's crown an outing, and visit one of One's loyal subjects, and so yesterday One packed up One's carriage and made a visit to Hastings on the Sussex coast. (One hasn't quite got the hang of being in charge, as One had to lug a holdall full of beading and crochet stuff for the once-over as instructed by One's subject). So, orf I trundled in my ancient carriage down the A259 - what a journey One had! Tractors, road works, every pensioner on the planet heading towards Eastbourne.....and an idiot in a van who tried to kill both One and the poor soul driving the articulated lorry in front. (He has since been reported - what a berk driving like that with the name of the company he works for plastered in 3ft high letters all over his van).

On arrival in Hastings, One was very unfairly accused of oversleeping being the reason for One's late arrival. Hmph, One was not amused. One's subject did however make One a very welcome mug of coffee to revive One's spirits and my subject and I then spent a very happy couple of hours oohing and aahing over beads - One's subject does however have the ability to cheese One orf by collecting amazing beads for bargain prices at boot fairs. Hmph again.

Then came the biggest indignity of all. Brace yourselves, loyal subjects. One was involved in a soap experiment. Nothing wrong with that, I hear you cry. No, nothing at all.....except for the fact that One's subject ordered One to wear a bright blue hairnet, red plastic sleeves and white latex gloves. (One supposes it was at least an attempt to be patriotic with the red, white and blue, but One is still miffed). The experiment was however a success - it has taught One that One's soap recipe is not up to scratch and needs some serious tweaking - no wonder One produces so much croap. Oh, and One's subject knows that she will be sent to the tower for immediate execution should she even consider posting pictures of the get-up One was forced to don. You can read about this experiment here if you're interested, and there are updates too.

Following that, One's subject helped One to make some jewellery for One's Mum. (One has had these beautiful semi-precious stones lurking in One's beading box since January and thought it was about time something was done with them). One's subject produces gorgeous jewellery herself and so One was very grateful for her subject's advice. Here are the results, and One hopes One's Mum likes them - if not, they will be reassembled into something else.

After an exhausting day (including a visit to a building One is told is called a "supermarket", where One's subject bounced (literally) down the aisles and One had to announce that shoppers were not to worry, but One's subject was only allowed out once a week, and only then under supervision), One packed up One's carriage and headed back to the safety of Brighton. Thankfully One had a much easier journey home but went to One's boudoir absolutely knackered. One did however have a very pleasant day (but One's subject needn't know that or it'll just go straight to her hairnet).


lcr soap said...

Your Majesty is so lucky that Her Majesty has not posted anything too unpleasant about Her Royal Highness's loyal subject. Otherwise this loyal subject may have been forced to post a certain photo on her blog, showing Her Majesty the Croap Queen in full croaping gear. I will, however, hang on to the photograph, just in case, errrm, not that I am threatening or anything........

What a wonderful ( albeit short, cos Her Majesty was so frightfully late ) day we had! Ought to be a regular thing, really.

Croap Queen said...

Well, I do believe that One's subject has made a public threat to the Croap Queen. Hmmm, MI5 1/2 will be watching methinks.

Her Majesty cannot be blamed for roadworks she will have you know, and yes Her Maj did enjoy it again.

Lomond Soap said...

One is amused by Her Maj's day out to meet her subject ;)

raine said...

One is amused by Her Maj's day out to meet her subject ;)


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